Melridger’s Weblog

I need to buy some groceries and stop going through the drive through to eat.

Today I went to Burger King for breakfast to get some cini-minis but they were out. So then I had to decide on something else. I’m not good at that once I decide something I don’t want to change it.

I ordered the french toast sticks combo with a lg coke. It was $4.06 and I gave her $5.06 that I am sure of.

I don’t think she gave me any change. It took a while and she finally gave me my food. I was waiting for my change and she said, “are you missing something.” I looked through the bag for a receipt to prove she needed to give me a dollar but there was nothing there.

Now I’m getting confused thinking maybe she did give me change. My memory is not good anymore because of the medication. It is hard to explain I remember her not giving me change but that doesn’t mean it actually happened.

Then I thought if she didn’t give me change how could I convince her that she didn’t?

I thought that they would need to count the register to see if they were a dollar over. That would take a while and delay the four other people in line behind me.

So I said I guess not and drove away. I was to nirvana on my iphone and the song was You know you’re right.

There is an irony and agony in Cobain’s voice that I have always loved. It was perfect for that song.

The lyrics are,

I would never bother you
I would never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never say a word again
I will crawl away for good

I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt failed to fail
Pain… (x3)
You know you’re right (x3)

I’m so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Let’s talk about someone else
Steaming, soon begins to melt
[nothing else is right!!!!]
Nothin’ really bothers her
She just wants to love herself

I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it’ll come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt so well
Pain… (x5)
You know you’re right (x17)
Pain…

The bitterness in his voice singing you know your right rang through. I am bitter that others can know they are right. I can never fully know if I am right because I cannot trust my brain. It is broken.

I could not embed this video so try this link. 

I’m not feeling to well these days and I’m having trouble concentrating
I’m going to see if writing helps me
My writing will probably be full of short badly written sentences but here we go.

Do you have stories that you keep in your head which may or may not contain you
I do and I don’t want to write them down I want to keep them
I have full back stories about where they went to school and family history
I took one of my characters and put him ina real memory the other day
I talk to them sometimes they help me figure things out

I remembered when my first roomate told me she didn’t want to live with me anymore
I have been upset about it for years
so I talked to my person right after it happened
I realized the reason I was so upset
we were very diferent Erin and I and I worked extreamly hard to get along with her
I didnt think it was a great situation but I thought it was ok
I remember when it happened a couple of guys at the bsu said
“its the hardest thing to go up and tell your roomate they are weird and you do not want to live with them anymore”
and I thought no the worst thing is someone saying it to you
She seemed shocked when I was shocked that she brought it up
She said you mean you want to room with me with a scowl on her face
She said that I made her feel stupid and that she wanted to live with some one from her church so they would be doing the same things together
The reason it hurt me so much was because I tried so hard to get along with her and thought I was doing a great job
Before I went to school I spent hours practicing saying her name so pronounced it right
She had looked at all my time and effort and said not good enough
The fact that I had worked so hard and it was all for nothing is what upset me
I think that when most people say they want a roomate they are actually saying they want a best friend
I can’t do that and that is another can of worms so I will conclude for now
I hope the lack of punctuation and spelling mistakes don’t bother you too much I am using my iphone

Trying to blog from my iPhone test 1