This is a great show. If you haven’t seen it or if you need to catch up watch this 8 minute recap show.

I am testing Jott, this should put things on my WordPress as a voice to text application and I am going to be doing some technical web site recommendation. listen

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I need to buy some groceries and stop going through the drive through to eat.

Today I went to Burger King for breakfast to get some cini-minis but they were out. So then I had to decide on something else. I’m not good at that once I decide something I don’t want to change it.

I ordered the french toast sticks combo with a lg coke. It was $4.06 and I gave her $5.06 that I am sure of.

I don’t think she gave me any change. It took a while and she finally gave me my food. I was waiting for my change and she said, “are you missing something.” I looked through the bag for a receipt to prove she needed to give me a dollar but there was nothing there.

Now I’m getting confused thinking maybe she did give me change. My memory is not good anymore because of the medication. It is hard to explain I remember her not giving me change but that doesn’t mean it actually happened.

Then I thought if she didn’t give me change how could I convince her that she didn’t?

I thought that they would need to count the register to see if they were a dollar over. That would take a while and delay the four other people in line behind me.

So I said I guess not and drove away. I was to nirvana on my iphone and the song was You know you’re right.

There is an irony and agony in Cobain’s voice that I have always loved. It was perfect for that song.

The lyrics are,

I would never bother you
I would never promise to
I will never follow you
I will never bother you
Never say a word again
I will crawl away for good

I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it would come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt failed to fail
Pain… (x3)
You know you’re right (x3)

I’m so warm and calm inside
I no longer have to hide
Let’s talk about someone else
Steaming, soon begins to melt
[nothing else is right!!!!]
Nothin’ really bothers her
She just wants to love herself

I will move away from here
You won’t be afraid of fear
No thought was put into this
I always knew it’ll come to this
Things have never been so swell
I have never felt so well
Pain… (x5)
You know you’re right (x17)
Pain…

The bitterness in his voice singing you know your right rang through. I am bitter that others can know they are right. I can never fully know if I am right because I cannot trust my brain. It is broken.

I could not embed this video so try this link. 

I’m not feeling to well these days and I’m having trouble concentrating
I’m going to see if writing helps me
My writing will probably be full of short badly written sentences but here we go.

Do you have stories that you keep in your head which may or may not contain you
I do and I don’t want to write them down I want to keep them
I have full back stories about where they went to school and family history
I took one of my characters and put him ina real memory the other day
I talk to them sometimes they help me figure things out

I remembered when my first roomate told me she didn’t want to live with me anymore
I have been upset about it for years
so I talked to my person right after it happened
I realized the reason I was so upset
we were very diferent Erin and I and I worked extreamly hard to get along with her
I didnt think it was a great situation but I thought it was ok
I remember when it happened a couple of guys at the bsu said
“its the hardest thing to go up and tell your roomate they are weird and you do not want to live with them anymore”
and I thought no the worst thing is someone saying it to you
She seemed shocked when I was shocked that she brought it up
She said you mean you want to room with me with a scowl on her face
She said that I made her feel stupid and that she wanted to live with some one from her church so they would be doing the same things together
The reason it hurt me so much was because I tried so hard to get along with her and thought I was doing a great job
Before I went to school I spent hours practicing saying her name so pronounced it right
She had looked at all my time and effort and said not good enough
The fact that I had worked so hard and it was all for nothing is what upset me
I think that when most people say they want a roomate they are actually saying they want a best friend
I can’t do that and that is another can of worms so I will conclude for now
I hope the lack of punctuation and spelling mistakes don’t bother you too much I am using my iphone

Trying to blog from my iPhone test 1

I had training this week for the HDI service desk certification.

The first half was about how service desks are setup, ect. The second half was about customer service skills.

Now let me go back to Lexington. When I graduated college in Dec 02 I had a terrible time finding a job. Now you may say that lots of people have problems finding a job. I would argue that I had more trouble. I did some temp work and had jobs working for family but I couldn’t find my own full-time work. Two and a half years after I graduated I finally got a job with ACS in Lexington. It was for an inbound call center for a contract with Nextel.

Now I’ve never liked talking on the phone. No that is not strong enough I had close to a phobia of talking on the phone. I would panic if I had to talk to someone for over a minute or if someone I didn’t know called. So I really hated this job but I was so thankful to have one I took it anyway.

We had two weeks of training most of it was customer service intead of anything about the phones. Like I said I really hated this job but I had a lot of opportunities to practice my customer service skills with all the belligerent customers that called in.

The only way to put a happy face on it would be to say that wisdom comes from experience and experience comes from  making mistakes.

Back to this week, most people don’t like to call a technical service desk because the computer people aren’t, “friendly.” This comes down to customer service skills. A lot of people get into the comptuer field because they are better with technical things than with people. The problem with that is for most people the first job they will have is in customer service.

So they go into the job with a lot of technical  expertise but no customer service skills. I was the other way around. Even though I have a minor in computer information systems I really didn’t learn any practical skills from it. This is common for people who went to universities most of us are self taught. The job in Lexington did teach me a lot of customer service (aka phone) skills. This and my american FFA degree helped me get my job with SAIC. First I worked in Somerset on the NIH contract. When I started I had never used outlook before and that was the main issue. I was able to deal with the customers and I learned the reset on the job.

So when we had our training I was surprised that I already knew the importance of things like tone, phrases to make the client feel better, and other skills.

I may not have the technical expertise of some agents but I have a pleasant telephone voice and I am great a looking things up. Customers would rather have a pleasant voice that didn’t talk down to them than a person who knows everything.

When I went to the Dr the other day they asked if anyone could drive me home. I told them no. I don’t really know anyone here. If it was a real emergency there is someone who lives here who knows my familiy who could help, but I’ve been here two years.

I’m not sure how to meet people and sometimes I’m not sure if I want to.

The fact that  I work second shift makes this very difficult. I work from 11:30 – 8:30 Pm. I was hoping that I would get a more 9-5 job with UK or start college again but neither of those things worked out.

I have some social anxiety and other issues so it takes a tremendous amount of effort for me to go into new situations.

I’m not even sure how to explain it. I’m afraid that if I go to a church one of two things will happen.

1. I’ll go and enjoy the sermon and not really have any contact with anyone else. Which I can do at home listening over the internet.

2. Someone will reach out to me I will need to work very hard to reach out in return. Then they will try to get me involved in something and I will have to explain how everything they offer happens while I am working.

It probably doesn’t make any sence to any one else why that would be so devistating to me but trust me it would.

I’ll come back to this later. A live podcast I listen to is coming on early and is taking over my speakers. (that didn’t make any sense either but trust me I need to close some windows so it will stop stuttering)

I watched Lost tonight and now I am so excited about the first episode tomorrow. I listen to a few of the lost podcasts and my favoirtye one is the GSPN weekly Lost podcast with Cliff and Stephanie

http://gspn.tv/category/weeklylostpodcast/ 

On another podcast someone who gets to review the shows before they came out said he thinks it is the best season opener yet.

GSPN is recorded in Hebron, KY. They are having a premier party. I wish I lived closer so that I could go.

This year I will actually get to watch it live. Last year I worked when it was on but now I get off at 8:30 PM.

I am on my second day of the steriod pack and it has taken care of the hives.

Some areas look like they were brused by the hives. Is that possible?

I think I’m gettting used to the steriods. Last week I was was much more amped and nervious than I am now.

This is also the first day not taking the thyroid medication. I hope that is what I am allergic to. It will be easier to avoid it instead of some kind of food allergy.

Last week I had an allergy atack where my mouth, tounge, and throat swelled up.

I went to the Dr after about 7 hours.  They were very concerned and said I should have gone to the ER.

After they were conveniced tha tI could breathe they have me a steriod shot and a steriod pack. The swelling went down.

At first the steroids made me feel better then by the end of the week I was very agitated and nervuos. I was glad when they were up on Sunday.

TodayIt started out with hives. Then my mouth started to swell. This time I went to the ER.

They gave me an IV with a steroid in it and another blister pack of MethyIPRESDNISolone.

Then they told me to stay at home and take benadryl all day, which I did. She also gave me an epipen and said the alergic reaction might be worse the next time.

I contacted one of my Dr.s and he said to stop taking my thyroid medication. Tha is the only thing I could come up with that was the same in both attacks.

I’m going back to work tomorrow. I need to work on my performance review which is due Monday.

I have an appointment on the 11th with an allergy Dr. I need to call them and update them on the situation. When we made the appointment I was only having sinus problems.

I think the steroids will keep it from happening for the rest of the week, but I still worry about the week between then and the Dr appointment.